Walking by Faith, Not by Sight

Sweet Baby Girl in her Princess Hospital Bed

Bella eating lunch after 2 blood transfusions. This is the first time she has truly eaten in 10 days! She was so impressed to be eating off that big tray in a bed. She looks like a little bug.

Two years ago, we stood at the gateway to international adoption, we knew that this would be a physically powerless situation, therefore, we had two choices, trust God or trust this earthly world, we chose God. We chose to "walk by faith and not by sight". Today, after only 5 months of bringing our Bella home from Guatemala, we were faced with that same choice, but truly, this is a daily choice. And we stand true to His Word, we know we serve a mighty God, the Great Healer, Miracle Maker, Storm Breaker....and like Peter, we will keep our eye's on Him and walk in His blessings.

We are humbled and awed again by God's provision, faithfulness and favor. From the outside looking in, many may ask, Why? Yet we know that this diagnosis is not from God, nor was it His "plan", yet its a way to show His glory and an opportunity for us to grow deeper in our Faith and Trust in Him.

Thursday evening we were admitted in to the childrens hospital. I remember very little of this evening...it's a blur, but I do remember sitting in the admitting room while nurses scrambled around and Dave was parking the car, rocking Bella in my arms while soaked in my own tears pleading to God to surround Bella and our family with an army of angels. In this moment, I had no physical words to pray, and this was all I could speak out of my mouth. We quickly began to notice God every where in the "crisis" of the moment. The quick and immediate reaction of the pediatrician just on the sight of Bella's skin color, the expedience of the lab with results of the blood test with in 1 hour. The gentle and empathetic hearts of the hospital staff. Learning very quickly that our hospital is one of the top hospitals in the country for pediatric Hematology and Cancer as well as our Doctor. Our friend and Home Study Social Worker Trish who with in moments of finding out we were at the hospital was standing in the door way of our room to assist us and comfort us (she is medical social worker as well). The nursing staff's loving care to both Bella and Dave and I. The nurse who at 6 am in the morning came in and prayed with me before she left for the night as she knew I was grieving and not sleeping. The nurse who noticed us blowing up an air mattress to sleep on and offered to take out the crib we called "the metal cage" and bring Bella and I a large comfy hospital bed to sleep together in...we slept 10 hours together with out waking once. And lastly, and likely most importantly, is the hundreds of emails, posts on our blog and phone messages offering helping hands, prayer, support and love. I cant even begin to express the immense peace and comfort that has brought us. It has filled our minds and hearts with hope. Knowing were not in this alone has made all the difference to Dave and I and our boys. God has shown his presence in big and small ways, no detail has been left unturned, and we know that He will continue to carry us on the victory in Bella's perfect healing.

We have confirmation that Bella's diagnosis is "Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia". As horrible as this may sound, it is the lesser of 2 evils and the prognosis is good and hopeful. Bella will receive a port in her chest Monday that will allow her to no longer be poked and prodded by needles for Chemotherapy and blood draws. She will have this port for 6 months. She will also start a
two year program of Chemotherapy on Monday as well, the first 6 months being the most intense. Bella has received 2 blood transfusions and will continue to receive them for the first month until her body is completely cleansed of the Leukemia and her own body can again begin making healthy blood. The treatment is designed to kill the Leukemia and then over the course of the 2 years, kill all remaining cells of Leukemia. We will have weekly trips to the hospital for transfusions and chemotherapy as well as oral chemo at home, antibiotics, and several other meds that I cant even remember at the moment. We have been told that she will most likely loose her beautiful shiny black hair, but I am choosing to believe that will not happen. Now of course, all these facts are from the Doctors, we of course serve a big and mighty God and we are believing for a super natural healing, however that may come. In all this storm, we continue to find joy in seeing the glory of God revealed in us and through us.

As for as our sweet Bella goes, she is sooooo much better. Smiling and laughing again, her sweetness is back, and her color is gorgeous. It's amazing how pale she got and we did not even recognize it. The doctors said that is normal for two reasons, one, it is very gradual and we are with her every day, and two, she is Hispanic and its the middle of Oct. It truly did look like she was loosing her sun tan. Because her little bones hurt, they give her moreiphene for the extreme pain which after the blood transfusions, she needs less and less. She is winning the hearts of every nurse and doctor just by her sincere cuteness and beautiful big round eye's. Today, she decided to grab the nurses stethoscope and place it on her own little heart. This child is so smart at 13 1/2 months of age. We are all feeling a little overwhelmed still, but we know that in time, that will pass. However we are so optimistic and encouraged by all the news we have received, and most of all, our faith sustains our heart, soul and minds and encourages us to persevere and press on.

All of you have enrichly touched our lives and Bella's, I just pray that God will shed light to the great peace your love and support has given us in the last 48 hours. You truly held us up when we could not hold our own selves up. We have felt every one of those prayers, God has heard them, and we are seeing and feeling that.

Blessings and love to all of you. We will be sure to update on Monday with more news as we are still awaiting a couple more test results including a spinal tap, but we are confident all will be well.

God Bless.