Hope in the Storm

I want to go home

Feeling better and playing with toys again.

Bella and her favorite nurse Nancee.

Bella and her boys, they are so ready to have both of us home.

Today had moments of joy and moments of emotional heartache. Bella is really tolerating things well, but she is burned out on all the poking and prodding. Today she had her second round of Chemo via a shot in her Femur muscle. It was followed by a temp check, blood pressure check and heart check, 3 oral medications and then a dressing change for her port. It was unfortunately emotionally traumatic for her, but she is filled with the spirit and quit resilient and she bounced back after an hour and half nap with her Daddy rocking her. The hard part for me was her crying...screaming and the fact that I had to change her dressing as we will have to do this at home. On the joyful side, Bella gave many smiles today, a big snuggle to Nancee her nurse who is amazing and played with her toys and snuggled her Mom while reading books in our bed. We had to special visitors in the morning...my friend Sue and sister-in-law Tiff with Bella's cousin Joey. Bella just lit up when she seen him come in the door. I felt bad for her as she wanted to touch him but couldn't.

The plan is that we go home tomorrow...and that's what I am planning on! I am so anxious to be home with our boys and snuggled up close to my husband in bed. I am looking forward to a day of no "vital checks", doctor visits, Leukemia Info meetings, social worker checks, etc. I cant even have a single conversation with out some kind of medical interruption. My head is spinning with information and I cant seem to really get a grip to what is happening and how this will effect our lives, yet I have peace in this storm, peace in the Lord and His promise to Bella and our family. We have seen the face of Jesus more times than we can count in the last 8 days, I pray every day that I notice the big and the tiniest of blessings God sends our way.

It was one week ago today that we were informed of this diagnosis, at this time, they were desperately trying to get an IV in Bella for a blood transfusion because her levels were dangerously low. It was a night that I wont forget, yet their are moments I do not even remember. Life took on a whole new meaning, and I became very aware of how fragile this physical world is and how dependent we truly are on our God. I know Jesus personally, and I cant even imagine this walk with out Him. The adoption journey prepared us for this next journey, and we expect nothing less of God, another victory in the life of the Ferricks.