AMEN LORD! AMEN!

It is with awe and thanksgiving that I get to post that we HAVE our MIXCO BIRTH CERTIFICATE! I am completely overwhelmed by God....how desperately I want to share all that He has taught us in the this wait, but today, all I can do is PRAISE HIM...for Bella is coming home! As soon as we have a copy of the official doc, I plan to post a couple pictures, so please check back in.

With all my heart....I love you Lord.

Believe and Receive.....

"....whoever believes in him shall not perish....."

"Jesus' invitation seems to simple. We gravitate to to other verbs. Work has a better ring to it. "Whoever works for him will be saved." Satisfy fits nicely. "Whoever satisfies him will be saved." But believe? Shouldn't I do more?

We expect a more proactive assignment, to have to conjure up a remedy for our sin. Some mercy seekers have donned hair shirts, climbed cathedral steps on their knees, or traversed hot rocks on bare feet.

Others of us have written our own Bible verse: "God helps those who help themselves". We'll fix ourselves, thank you. we'll make up for our mistakes with contributions, our guilt with busyness. We'll overcome failures iwth hard work. We'll find salvation the old-fashioned way; we'll earn it.

Christ, in contrast says to us: "Your part is to trust. Trust me to do what you cant".

You take similar steps of trust daily. You believe the chair will support you, so you set your weight on it. You believe water will hydrate you, so you swallow it. You have faith the doorknob will work, so you turn it. You regularly trust power you cannot see to do a work you cannot accomplish. Jesus invites you to do the same with him.

Just Him. Not any other leader. Not other wounded and sickened souls. Not even you. You cant fix you. Look to Jesus....and believe."

By Max Lucado in 3:16

On this day we celebrate Easter, a day of Eternal Victory for all those who BELIEVE! Through His life, death and resurrection, we have God's Kingdom not only for eternity, but here on earth...if we just believe and receive.

Our journey of adoption has taught us so very much, but one of the greatest and the most rewarding is to believe God. Believe Him to be bigger, greater and purposeful. We have also learned to joy and peace in trusting God. Tomorrow marks business day 37 in waiting for our mixco birth certificate, 8 weeks to the date of being submitted. A reminder that God is in control, and although the wait makes no sense to us, He has a greater purpose, and by choice, we will and are believing! Did God cause corruption in Mixco Civil Registry? absolutely NOT! Will He use it for His greater purpose and glory, you better believe it. Are we ready to be part of that glory? AMEN! I have stood in the moment of His glory before, and it is breath taking. Today brings a new hope and the same promise that He is in this adoption.

We choose to "wait upon the Lord', not because we want to, believe me, our flesh wants to run the other way, do whatever it takes to get that BC, but our need for the Lord and His presence in our life is greater, so we choose to trust Him and His promises, for they have never "left us or forsaken us". God is greater, and when all is said and done, I believe we will know the purpose for this wait. As for the plan?......that's the exciting part of the adventure....we have no idea what wonderful things God still has in mind for our family, but I know that I know that the plans He has for us are plans to "prosper us and not harm us".

I will love you Lord, in all things, I choose you.

A New Day, A New Week

I am writing on the eve of a new day, a new week. As you all know, the lack of results or news last week was heart wrenching for me. I was truly broken, but like all the other moments in my life of brokenness, God came in and scooped me up and gave me the strength to move on. Believe me, I am an over, under, around or through kind of person, this is truly the strength of God. I enjoyed my weekend with my kids and Dave and took time to reflect and search my soul. Tonight, I rest in the plan of God. We are all at perfect peace. Our confession, belief and expectation remains the same, “Bella’s Mixco Birth Certificate is approved today with no previews”. Yet, what ever transpires this week, we know we will be ok. If all we could expect from God was his grace, it would be enough. But his love is bigger, we know we serve a mighty God and He delights in us. We are to expect and believe for the unexpected, we believe in the miracle of Bella’s Birth Certificate, and we plan to share good news with you soon. God is bigger!

Again, THANK YOU for your love, prayer and support. I have had several emails, phone calls and messages this weekend bringing me to complete tears that God has provided me with an amazing family and group of friends. God has used every one of you to help hold us up.

Blessings and love to all

Holding to His Promises

This Friday comes to an end and marks business day 34 (7 weeks) of waiting for our Birth Certificate that will allow us to bring Bella home. We heard nothing this week, no release phone call from our agency. My heart is broken, its been a tough night. But I choose as does my family to stand firm in the truth of God’s promises and truths. It makes no sense to my flesh that we are going through this difficult wait, but we believe in a purpose and plan greater than us. Although I ache to hold my precious daughter, she is God’s child first….and the reality is, she will never remember this time, and like child birth, God will erase the actual pain we are feeling. We still hold firm that Bella’s Birth Certificate is APPROVED today with no previews. Monday brings a new hope to the wait. Were ok, Im ok, I will be GREAT, and “His mercies are new every day”. For tonight, Dave and I plan to go out and have some much needed one on one time. Tomorrow we have no basketball, no civic theatre, no NOTHING! Just time to be a family of 5 and do what we want with no naps to worry about, so we will come up with something fun with the boys.

Thanks for your continued love and support and prayers….it truly holds us up, especially me.

No News...Still Waiting for BC

Still now news on day 33 (6 1/2 weeks).....no news means more room for God's Glory!!!! It was absolutely a day of defense. I was awoken this morning with severe stomach pains, fortunately, they subsided after about 3 hours and I was able to go on with my day. Believe me, I dont doubt for 2 seconds that it was a direct hit from the devil, but I was having no part of it and prayed myself right out of it. The rest of the day was spent living life and my heart having moments of raciness with every phone ring, by 6:30 pm, I was having an emotional down. This is hard.....waiting is hard.....faithfulness can be hard, but God is better, God is worth the wait and His glory is worth everything. I continue to stand in the belief that our Bella's Birth Certificate has been approved with no previews today! I live every moment of every day in the expectancy of God, and I know that I know He will be victorious. Thanks for checking in friends, "His mercies are new everyday", and tomorrow is a new day.

Blessings and Hope to all of you

Dying to Self

"Adoption is not for the faint hearted". I cant think of a time in my life when I was facing a bigger giant than this one. The past 5 weeks have been an emotional roller coaster for me, and therefore, my family. When we decided to adopt in May 2006, we knew international adoption would require us to TRUST God....little did we know at that time just how much. For the most part, we have been able to stay faithful to that trust, to the conviction that God's way was best and His plan was perfect, but with the recent unfoldings of Mixco CR, it became increasingly difficult on our flesh. The enemy moved in swiftly filling my head with doubt, fear and worry leading to sleepless nights, irritability, paralyization....and I never even seen it coming. I knew what I was doing was wrong, I kept saying " I know what this, I am not going here, "He who is in me is greater than He who is in the world". But with news from our agency that 5 families received their BC's and 5 received "previews" last week, the Giants seemed overbearing, insurmountable, un-defeatable. I literally had a night where I was so angry with the enemy I was waking my husband up in the middle of the night kicking off blankets and screaming " I HATE YOU DEVIL"! Crying out for God, "please help me win over this fear....I know better". In the morning, the guilt came on....how could I question such an awesome God? And it occurred to me what happened. I had taken my focus off God's will and plan and put it on mine, and in doing so, I lost my peace. I got so concerned over my desire to have my daughter home that I lost sight of God's perfect timing. This journey was never about me, our family or our sweet Bella, it's about God and His glory. There is so much more to this journey, too many to list as we have experienced many.

So tonight I post that I am human. I stumble and fall just like everyone else, yet through Him, I get back up. I know what it feels like to fight war, I did it...it was exhausting. And although I won the battle of my mind, I must stand guard, "for the enemy comes roaming like a lion to kill, steal and destroy". Tonight, I rest in under His wing and trust His ways and allow Him to carry out His plan.

Tomorrow marks day 30 for us in Mixco CR, by law, they are required to release our file on this day. Generally, they have been coming out around day 33. My heart is at peace, a few heart races occasionally, but I surrender my will and plan to knowing that His time is perfect. Our expectation and words are that we will have Bella's Birth Certificate APPROVED this week, for we know we serve a mighty and big God, "for He is able to do super abundantly, far over and above all that we dare ask or think, beyond our highest prayers, desires, hopes or dreams. To Him be the glory...." Eph. 3:20 We will stand strong with our swords held high and His Word on our tongues.

We ask for your continued prayer and support, it has absolutely carried us through and made the load lighter.

Victory is at hand....

Blessed be His Name!

Please give the Lord a shout for me today! My very good friend Jenifer received her daughter Ana's Mixco Birth Certificate today after a 4 month wait! As I have posted before, this is a document that should only take a week at the most. I am literally a river of tears.....God has answered our prayers, He has broken the Stronghold of corruption, He is faithful to those who love and serve Him. Our day 30 is Monday the 10th, the Civil Registry has been typically releasing them day 33....I will still say "today". Please continue to pray for our Mixco Birth Certificate to be approved with NO previews today in His name. We believe it to already be done and we thank you dear Lord for the BC's you have given. I am just so happy for my dear friend.....sweet Ana is coming home! She's coming home.

Rising Up!

You Raise Me Up
Words and Music by: Brendon Joseph Graham, Rolf U. Loevland

You Raise Me Up by Selah

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

I am STANDING on His shoulders today.....arms in the air, hands up, with praise and gratitude for what He has already done and what He is currently doing that has yet to be revealed. I have seen His glory, and its an amazing place to be. I will not fear, for He has overcome the World. Thank you Lord that you only have plans to prosper me and not harm me. I will pass this test Lord, I will pass.

To all my adoption and blogging friends, you have been an amazing support system. Thank you for your constant encouragement and thoughtful words and postings. So many wonderful gifts in adoption, and the friendships made in unimaginable places has been one of them. I hope to have the opportunity to meet everyone of you someday.

Blessings and prayers to you all.

The Anguish

It's been 5 weeks now since Bella became our legal daughter. I was not prepared for this wait of her birth certificate. In the average normal time frames, we would have most likely traveled this week to bring her home. My heart is heavy, sleep is difficult and my energy low. It has taken every bit of extra energy I have to fight the enemy's lies of out my head. Yet I choose to press on and live by faith....God is bigger, He is faithful, just and merciful. He is quick to perform His Word. Most importantly, He is not only my Advocate, but my daughters.

This evening, I tossed and turned for hours, breaking down in tears over the hurt of missing my daughter. It's been almost 6 months since I have held her, kissed her cheeks, smelled her sweet head, seen her precious face. It's a separation that has been difficult, but at this point, "feels" unbearable. Yet in my moment of thrashing in my bed, trying to make sense of things, praying and believing for His victory, the scripture of Jesus' night in the garden before His death came to mind. I quickly jumped out of bed to grab my bible and I ready every passage of that moment in all four gospels. "My Father, if it is possible, do not give me this cup of suffering. But do what you want, not what I want." Oh how I desire to have the strength to say these Words. How desperately I want this to be about God....and not about me. I was humbled and overwhelmed by the passage. Its one I have heard many times. But tonight, as I sit in my own "anguish", I am reminded of the one who paid the price so that I would not have to experience it.

I read on to read His words shortly before His death "my God, my God, why have you forsaken me". And hit me.....His heavenly Father had to literally turn His back on His own son so that my life could be redeemed and His power upon me. Jesus was literally separated from His Father and after a lifetime on earth of walking with His Father, he would be separated from Him permanently at the most critical and painful moment of His life. He was alone....when He prayed in the Garden, He was alone....when He was beaten and stripped of His dignity, he stood alone, when He was nailed to the cross....alone. And through His death and resurrection, I walk in Victory....and alone, separated from God, is not part of my history, my life, my journey.

Adoption has absolutely been the greatest test of faith for myself and my family thus far, but it has also been the greatest joy. And although my heart hurts, I know that this is a but a time, and I am absolutely not alone. There is no anguish for me, for I have the authority in Him to claim victory and Bella will be home. But it certainly put things in to perspective for me this evening. And I am humbled, grateful and awed again by the presence of His grace. I sit in His wing tonight, and take comfort in knowing that "all is well". Through Him, In Him....she is home!

Standing Firm in the Truth!

Oh how I wish to always be here....standing firm in the truth and promises of God. And oh how the enemy is so "diligent" in pushing me in to a different direction.

Last evening, we received a disturbing email in regards to Mixco Civil Registry. I am not going to speak the specifics, I will not give any credit to the enemy who has none to get in the first place. But I am sad to report that the email sent not only me, but several other families from our agency in to a down ward spiral. I thought "what? What is happening Lord, we have broken that strong hold in your name! You must abide by your Word, you cant be discredited...you promised that if we believe and stand firm in our faith, that what we pray will come to pass through the authority of your death and resurrection. I don't understand Lord, what did we miss?" Myself and several other prayer warriors were absolutely confused. However, after prayer last night and the new mercies of the Lord that are given every morning. I am humbled to share with you (it certainly was through our own strength) that my friend Jenifer and I spent the first hour of the morning quickly digging ourselves out of that pit through speaking and quoting the Word of God and we went on with our day. We both "considered not our bodies" and went on with our life. Not easy, but again, faith is a choice, and we both "fear" God enough to choose faith.

In the end, God has been victorious AGAIN! 3 more Birth Certificates issued today for our agency, thus, continued hope and blessings. What was so dark last night, turned in to joy today. And we are once again shown that brightness always over powers darkness. There is no end to light, but there is absolutely and end to darkness. Black is black, but light can get brighter and brighter, there is no end to illumination.

I heard the Lord say to me "Look up, eye's up, eye's up.....Look at me, don't look at the ground , look up!" I thought about different moments with my sons where I grabbed their faces and said "look at me...no look at me", and here my heavenly Father is saying the same thing. Just like Peter the disciple, I momentarily took my eye's of Christ....and He said "look at me, pay no attention to the rough waters, look at me". I am looking, the waters have calmed and no matter how rough they may "appear to get", I will keep my eye's on Him....his light is brighter, His waters are calmer, His ways are smoother.

Please DO NOT stop praying the prayers I posted previously regarding Mixo Civil Registry. I cant express enough the power that exists in intercessory prayer. I expect to be posting very good news in the days to come.

Blessings, and thank you for always checking in.

Joy........................

"The joy of the Lord is my strength"

Here are 3 of my joys last spring break, 2007.....love my boys and oh so grateful for them.

We awoke today to another new layer of fresh powdery snow. It was one of those snow's that sticks to the tree's....it really was quit pretty. However, I found myself immediately annoyed and in a "grouchy mood". I am personally a "summer girl", I prefer the outdoors more than anything, hence, my passion for camping, water, boats, etc. I absolutely struggle emotionally in January and February as I begin to feel cooped up and trapped within my home and surroundings. I for one cant tell you that I officially feel "complete" with winter!

However, every day, my heavenly Father not only supplies me with enough strength for the day as well as my needs, but He also supplies me with enough joy. It's up to me to receive this new joy everyday and live it. I must admit, some days are easier than others to do this. I wish I could say the wait gets easier....but its tough! Some days, it takes every bit of energy I have to just to get out of bed in the morning. But I do it.....again, "I consider not my body" and I make a choice to live the life I have been blessed with and all the wonderful people and things in it. I seek the joy the Lord has given me for the day, I praise for all that has been given to me and pray that He will continue to reveal himself more to me.

We are still waiting for our Birth Certificate for Bella. It has now been 4 weeks since originally being registered with Mixco Civil Registry. The good news, is that the Civil Registry does appear to be releasing BC's and we are hopeful and expectant of our BC....."today is the day"! Please continue to pray and praise for the release of the corruption strong hold in Mixco CR and Minors Court.

We received our monthly update DVD yesterday of Bella getting her bath....she loves WATER, what a relief. She is absolutely my "chunky monkey"....they are still giving her 2 bottles at night time! Her weight, height and head circumference all stayed the same this month, she finally slowed down a bit in her growth. As a reminder, she is 24" long and 16 lbs and 16" head circum. She is precious, very content and sweet and loves to focus on faces. Oh how I long to just hold her and kiss those chubby thighs and cheeks. I am believing and speaking that this will be our last medical update as we will be there to pick her up by the end of March. That's my story today and I am sticking to it!

My oldest son Nathan is in the state spelling bee today, we are very proud of him. He is also currently the main character of "Nate the Great" at our local Civic Theatre! He turns 13 tomorrow, how can it be that my first baby is going to be a TEENAGER! Oh yikes, not so sure I am ready for all this....but again... JOY!

I continue to pray for all of my blogging buddies and I so appreciate everyone that checks in and continues to support us through your notes of encouragement and prayer. We need it more than ever right now. You are all such a blessing to me.

Therapy Thursday!

Ok, so I have been waiting awhile to take these photos and post them. I am just believing we are only a few weeks away from bringing the ladybug home! For those of you that dont know, I always have some little nick name for my "babies". My Nate was my "peanut", Jake was my "lamb", Sam my "bear" and Bella is my "ladybug". So we went the theme of Daisys and Ladybugs in her room and lucky for me, I even found a few out fits with Lady Bugs. I am just believing these little cloths will still fit and be in season for her. Remember my rule "no blue unless there's BLING", the jeans have pink sparkle in the fabric! :) Can't you just see her at the beach this summer! All we need is that Birth Certificate..... Upon receiving her BC, our legal team will immediatly order her Guatemala passport, and then its off to the US Embassy for her final DNA sample and then once returned to USE they will schedule what's called "Pink" which is our VISA apt....it's off to Guat then! It's very possible it could me March and right now, that's where my mind has to stay. Please continue to pray for the manifestation of her BC and all families who are waiting for the Mixco BC's. Especially my friends Jennifer and Gail! God is faithful, TODAY IS THE DAY! Blessings to all and thanks for always checking in.

Please Keep Praying and Praising...It's Working!

Just had to give a quick Praise to God!!!! We are seeing Birth Certificates being issued at our agency and others! Please continue to pray and praise the prayers posted on our blog. God is moving and He will and is being glorified! Thanks for checking in. :)

Transition....Oh it hurts!

I am reading book titled "Possessing your Inheritance". In the chapter I read this evening, it talked about Transition times in our life. The author described transition to labor and delivery of a child. And oh how I remember that! There is a stage during the birthing process that is the most intense and painful....generally, its around dialation of 6-10. It was about this time with my third that I remember thinking...."I cant do this" and "I am never doing this again". But the one thing that kept me going was the hope of the child that would be the reward, so endurance set in.

It is often described that during this "transition phase" of birthing, a woman feels exhausted emotional, vulnerable, overwhelmed and at "the end of the rope". In addition, there is frustration, feelings of discouragement, irritability and restlessness. Many lose it during this time, and that's exactly where I am this evening.

I never anticipated that we would be waiting 3 weeks for a birth certificate. Bella will be 6 months old in 10 days....and by the miracle of God, she still could be. However, the average time from BC to Pick Up trip is 4 weeks. Transition......

A play ground for Satan, and sadly, one I have given in to at moments. It's a perfect time for the enemy to "hit God's people with great force because he knows its a time when we feel weak and vulnerable. However, its but a moment....and most importantly, its only a feeling and a lie.

According to the author, there are 3 important facts regarding Transition:

1. There is an ending! God does not leave us and He will not leave us any longer than necessary. This is temporary. God has "bountiful seasons ahead for those who will seek Him. "Forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for which the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus". Phil 3:13,14 A new season is just ahead!

2. Confusion is Normal! Our carnal mind is trying to work against God. (Rom 8:7). Our minds "are in opposition of God's mind". We then begin to wonder if God is really there. The question "why" comes in to play and we begin to meditate on the lies of the enemy rather than on the promises of God. Regardless of how we feel, what are emotions are doing or the anxiety we may be experiencing, we can and must remain in peace...knowing that God knows where He wants to lead us. Confusion is normal, but we must work past it....God's promises, not the enemy's lies.

3. There is a NEW Beginning! Oh can I have an AMEN to that one. It's that time when grace sets in and restoration and refreshment begins. Hope is the light, its time to PUSH!

PUSH!!! That moment when the tranisition is over and the Doctor is yelling push, and with all that you are, you let go of every fear, worry, anxiousness and discomfort because the urge to push becomes stronger than the urge of discomfort. And then, woosh! In a split second, its over, and the child you labored for and anticipated for is laid on your chest. Perfection! And its in that very moment, God erases the pain. This is the part that amazes me to this day, God erases the pain.

I remember that labor was difficult, but I could never explain to anyone what it physically felt like. It's gone, the memory of the pain is gone. And I know that this pain of longing to be reunited with our daughter will be a erased from my memory. Now that is a miracle.

Again, sharing my heart here, because although my ultimate goal is lto ive my life for the Lord, I still struggle and have down days, because I'm human. Yet His "mercy's are new every morning". So I will go to bed tonight with His Word on my heart, in my mind and OUT of my mouth. And the morning brings hope and a promise from my heavenly Father....that all is well.

Molly the Bear

Meet Molly! On Wednesday, Dave, the boys and I headed to "Build a Bear". My friend Sue is a member of a church that has a Mission Team traveling to Guatemala Saturday and will be visiting our orphanage on Sunday. A member of that mission team offered to take something to our Bella Girl....so we decided on a stuffed animal from Build a Bear. Now I had my heart set on a Pink and White Bunny, but this is what the Boys picked out and they named her "Molly". We put a recorded chip in her hand paw with a saying from each one of our voices. We are so incredibly greatfull to Laura (lady in the photo) for taking this very loved bear to our Bella next week. I cant even begin to tell you how comforting it is to know that someone is loving on our daughter and bringing a piece of us to her. Any time she wants to hear our voices, all she has to do is press the paw. This sweet bear has 5 hearts in it, one from each of us.

Please pray for this Mission Team, you can visit this womans blog at http://www.xanga.com/richandlaura
They have very specific prayers that they are requesting.

We are also asking for prayers for our friends Amy and Matt. They will be traveling to Guatemala with this Mission Team as well to have time with their daughter who was diagnosed with a fatal brain birth defect. We Praise God for His perfect provision for this family, and ask that God keeps them safe in His arms and that they fully receive His peace and hope in their visit trip.

Blessings!